The Jerry Maguire Elevator Scene

The scene was set inside an elevator with Jerry Maguire (played by Tom Cruise) and her newly-hired assistant Dorothy (played by Renee Zellweger). A young man, probably in his early 20’s, steps inside along with his girlfriend. He then raises his hands and starts gesturing as if trying to say something to her girlfriend.

It turns out that the man is hearing-impaired and sign language was his way of communication. It was not clear if the girl was also hard of hearing but there was no doubt that she understood what his boyfriend told her since they ended up embracing each other.

When the two stepped out of the elevator, Jerry asked Dorothy what the man said to his girl. She interpreted the hand gestures as “you complete me”.

That particular scene was actually quite short as it only took around five minutes, maybe even less. Yet, it was one of the more memorable shots of the movie, with the line “you complete me” actually ending up being used by lovers all over the world when professing their love for one another.

What is significant is that it took one disabled man to give real and complete meaning to that short, three-word line, and he did not even need to blurt out the words. In his own sweet and innocent way, he was able to express his feelings to his beloved, and he was readily understood, and his action appreciated.

So what exactly did that elevator scene in the film ‘Jerry Maguire’ attempted to impart? Simple: it wanted to convey the message that love knows no boundaries as it can happen anywhere and to anyone. Yes, even among lesser mortals that society often relegates to the sidelines.

More importantly, love need not be expressed in actual words. In very special cases, this can be shared more effectively through silent but meaningful gestures.

A Disabled-Friendly Establishment

When visiting different places, I seldom come across structures that acknowledge the existence of disabled people in their midst. In other words, many establishments are hardly disabled-friendly despite clear guidelines defined in the Magna Carta for Disabled Persons in the Philippines.

This morning, however, a pleasant surprise came my way. At around 10am, I went to the Valenzuela branch of Cebuana Lhuiller to claim a money remittance.

Upon entering their offices, the warm smile of a security guard greeted me and offered me his assistance. After telling him my business, he directed me to the counter where I filled out the remittance slip as per company procedures.

After completing the form, the guard then directed me to a special counter where a helpful teller processed my request. At this point, I noticed the small sign in front of me that says, “We proudly assist Senior citizens and PWD’s”

Those were not the exact words as I could hardly remember them. Nevertheless, the point here is that there is actually this particular establishment in the Valenzuela area that respects the rights of the disabled and proudly acknowledges them as part of modern society; in short, a building that is disabled-friendly. 

This could not be said of other concrete structures, especially those involved in the customer service business. I have entered a number of buildings that unfortunately has no existing policy when it comes to addressing the needs of the disabled.

Disabled people are not exactly asking for special treatment. They would be happy to follow any existing policy or guideline for as long as they are able to do so. The problem is, there are building guidelines that the typical differently-abled person will find hard to observe like in the case of going up the stairs to reach the upper building floors when the presence of elevators would have been a better alternative for PWD's. 

Cebuana Lhuiller Valenzuela may be an exception, but it still has a few things to work on in helping out PWD's. In particular, I take special notice to the particularly high step that I had to climb down on before I can get to enter the inner premises. A small ramp would have made things a bit easier; sadly, I hardly recall seeing such a structure.

Still, Cebuana Lhuiller Valenzuela has taken a valuable initiative in the customer service front. A few more improvements (a ramp perhaps?) should make the establishment totally disabled-friendly.

Love Stories Are For Normal People

I had a good friend way back in high school who told me that given my physical handicap, getting a girl to fall in love with me would be next to impossible.

My friend was, of course, being frank and simply telling the truth. Still, the stubborn part of me ignored the above statement, and went on courting several girls. Take note, these are not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill women. They are particularly attractive and can easily stand out in a crowd.

In all of these courtships, the results were naturally not to my disadvantage. Thus, I always ended up nursing a broken heart over and over.

The heartbreaks finally stopped ten years ago when one special girl entered my life. She was, like all the other girls I have courted, particularly attractive, but she had one single difference. She actually said 'yes'.

This girl eventually became my wife, to the dismay of my mother who believes that this girl is not really serious with me. She said that given my disability, it will not come as a surprise if this girl will one day decide to look for a more normal guy and have a more normal life.

I refused to believe this, confident in the fact that my wife is faithful and completely in love with me.

There are times though when I can see her looking at other men. When confronted, she would deny this.

Still, those are rare occasions, and my wife would often assure me that she is not the playgirl type and that she will never do anything that will bring ruin to our family.

We now have four children, and are still living happily together. Last weekend, however, a chance encounter with another man awakened me to a dark reality in my life.

My wife was then playing at the arcade while carrying our one-year-old son. I was by her left side looking after our two-month-old baby. To her right was a young man in t-shirt and who was wearing  a white cap. He was quietly watching her play although I believe that they do not know each other.

At that point, my wife was on a winning streak, having earned several arcade tickets. I could see that she was particularly happy as arcade victories came rarely to her.

I was half-expecting her to look at me and smile. To my surprise, however, she looked at the man to her right, smiled at him and said something about being particularly lucky that day. The man smiled back, and then hesitantly walked away.

My wife then looked at me innocently. I asked her if she knew the guy and she said no. I then asked her why she smiled at him, and she jokingly said it's because I was not looking at her.

To others, this may pass off as something of no value at all. To me though, it was a wake-up call, a pat on the back to help me keep in mind that for disabled people like me, love can never be a long-lasting experience. That one incident alone is a clear indication that I could easily lose my wife anytime if ever a 'normal' and good -looking man should come in to her life.

In all the years that we have been together, I have known her to be extra friendly, even to men. That is why many of them are drawn to her. We have a small sari-sari store, and  I often notice that whenever the customer is a guy, my wife would make the first move to be of service even if I'm the one tending the store.

Many of our customers also happen to be men as there is a car wash outlet located in front of our store. Practically all of its male employees know my wife by name and often look for her whenever they come to us to buy something.

This has somehow put a dent on our marriage since I usually end up getting jealous. My wife continues to assure me of her love, but her many actions often contradict this. Secretly, I feel that it is only a matter of time before she falls for someone else.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the day will never come, if only for my children's sake. Still, when I recall my old friend's declaration and my mother's belief, I can only bow in agreement.

Whoever said that fairy tales do come true is probably living in dream land. And whoever said that all is fair in love is probably one who has never shed a tear for a badly broken heart.

From where I stand right now, love stories are only for 'normal' people.

Apprehension Grips My Heart

I was sick for two days. This is the second time that I got ill in a span of less than three months. This does not usually happen to me, but given the possibility that I could be showing the early symptoms of post-polio syndrome, I'm not really surprised.

During my childhood years, I remember being very sickly, especially the period after I have recovered from my bout with polio. When I entered my school-year age, I recall getting sick often which mean being absent from my classes for weeks at a time.

That eventually changed when I reached high school. Maybe it had to do with the physical changes that teenagers are known to experience during this time. Or perhaps my body was finally able to develop a fully functional immune system.

Either way, the years that followed proved to be healthy ones for me. I seldom got sick, and even if I did, it lasted only for two days at most. And I was not even taking in any vitamin supplements; just a healthy diet, regular exercise and a good night's sleep.

This set-up went well until last March when I was diagnosed with pneumonia. I struggled through the illness for almost a week before I got fully recovered.

Last May, I got sick again, and although it was comparatively milder, the illness was a surprise as it came in the midst of summer, and only two months after my last sickness.

This was when I learned about post polio syndrome. Considering my age and the period when the initial polio attack took place, I suspect that my last two illnesses are early symptoms that I am suffering from this condition. Of course, I still need to confirm this with a medical doctor.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that my suspicion is unfounded. Still,  apprehension grips my heart like a vise. Just like many polio survivors who are now suffering from post polio syndrome, my fear is that after years of believing that I have recovered from the effects of the disease, polio has returned for a second round of battle, and this time, it seeks to ensure that it will come out the victor.

An Ancient Enemy Has Come Avisiting

For the last few months, I noticed that I seem to get tired easily. I can readily feel the strong beating of my heart and a slight shortness of breath after walking for just a few minutes.

In recent years, I have also been having a hard time getting a good six to seven-hour sleep.

These conditions were unheard of in my younger years.

Last week, when I began this blog and started reading up on articles about disabilities, I came across the term 'PPS'  or post-polio syndrome. This is a condition known to affect victims of polio and is characterized by general body function slowdown.

The discovery came as a surprise to me. After recovering from polio, no one has discussed to me the possibility of suffering from its after-effects years later.

Yet, this was indeed a real possibility. Many prominent personalities who were polio victims in the past are now in fact dealing with PPS. These included Arthur C. Clarke, a science-fiction writer, who was  diagnosed with polio in 1962 and who suffered from post-polio syndrome in 1984 before passing away four years later.

Briefly, PPS affects about 50% of all polio victims, with many of the symptoms beginning to manifest themselves some 15-30 years after the initial attack. The most common of these symptoms are fatigue, and weakness and pain in the muscles. Less common ones include sleep and breathing problems.

Often, the situation is exacerbated by the fact that PPS is hard to identify since its symptoms can be attributed solely to aging. Still, there is growing evidence that many polio victims who were able to overcome the damaging effects of the disease are now finding themselves facing what was previously regarded as a vanquished opponent.

Post-polio syndrome is now a new battlefield for us. Although it is not life-threatening, PPS has rekindled an old fear, the fear that we may eventually bow down again before an ancient enemy before our time is up.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-polio_syndrome

Of Stigmas and Disabilities

As I continued to read more about Franklin Roosevelt and his supposed bout with polio, I began to learn more about how he came to grips with his disability.

One sad note is that in his many appearances, Roosevelt convinced the general public that while he may have been struck down by his illness, he was not really disabled. In private, he used a wheelchair to get him to move around. Publicly, however, he was always seen standing upright which, I recently found out, was choreographed.

I understand that to boost his chances of running for public office, Roosevelt had to project the image of a 'normal' and healthy man. Unfortunately, in doing so, Roosevelt had underscored the stigma often attached to a physical disability; that it is a disgrace to the family and that it is something that ought to be kept from public view.

Of course, that was a long time ago, back when disabiliities were still considered oddities and in some cases, curses.

These days, while there are still some who regard people with disabilities as second-class citizens, there are many laws which protect them from discrimination. If Roosevelt had lived in the present time, then, he would most probably have opted to go public on his wheelchair.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franklin_D._Roosevelt's_paralytic_illness#Public_awareness_of_the_disability

The Case of Franklin Roosevelt

For years, the story of former US President Franklin D. Roosevelt inspired me, particularly the episode of his life when he was said to have contracted polio. For me, it was the perfect recovery story after polio.

Recent data, though, tend to show that the late US president actually suffered from Guillain-Barré syndrome, a disorder that triggers ascending paralysis of the peripheral nervous system.

Why the quick diagnosis of polio for the late president can be due to the fact that at the time of contracting the illness, polio was widespread, particularly in northeastern United States.

Still, regardless of his actual illness, there is hardly any doubt that despite his condition then, Mr. Roosevelt was able to overcome the challenge presented by his disability. He rose to become one of the greatest leaders the world has ever known.

More importantly, his experience led Mr. Roosevelt to put up the National Foundation for Infantile Paralysis, eventually referred to as the March of Dimes.

Initially established to help in rehabilitation efforts for paralytic polio victims, March of Dimes soon expanded its scope by supporting various works aimed at developing the needed polio vaccine. These days, the foundation keeps itself busy by helping find ways of preventing infant death, premature birth and the occurrence of birth defects.

For all his charitable works in behalf of polio-stricken people, Frankiln Roosevelt's image has been immortalized in the US dime.