Love Stories Are For Normal People

I had a good friend way back in high school who told me that given my physical handicap, getting a girl to fall in love with me would be next to impossible.

My friend was, of course, being frank and simply telling the truth. Still, the stubborn part of me ignored the above statement, and went on courting several girls. Take note, these are not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill women. They are particularly attractive and can easily stand out in a crowd.

In all of these courtships, the results were naturally not to my disadvantage. Thus, I always ended up nursing a broken heart over and over.

The heartbreaks finally stopped ten years ago when one special girl entered my life. She was, like all the other girls I have courted, particularly attractive, but she had one single difference. She actually said 'yes'.

This girl eventually became my wife, to the dismay of my mother who believes that this girl is not really serious with me. She said that given my disability, it will not come as a surprise if this girl will one day decide to look for a more normal guy and have a more normal life.

I refused to believe this, confident in the fact that my wife is faithful and completely in love with me.

There are times though when I can see her looking at other men. When confronted, she would deny this.

Still, those are rare occasions, and my wife would often assure me that she is not the playgirl type and that she will never do anything that will bring ruin to our family.

We now have four children, and are still living happily together. Last weekend, however, a chance encounter with another man awakened me to a dark reality in my life.

My wife was then playing at the arcade while carrying our one-year-old son. I was by her left side looking after our two-month-old baby. To her right was a young man in t-shirt and who was wearing  a white cap. He was quietly watching her play although I believe that they do not know each other.

At that point, my wife was on a winning streak, having earned several arcade tickets. I could see that she was particularly happy as arcade victories came rarely to her.

I was half-expecting her to look at me and smile. To my surprise, however, she looked at the man to her right, smiled at him and said something about being particularly lucky that day. The man smiled back, and then hesitantly walked away.

My wife then looked at me innocently. I asked her if she knew the guy and she said no. I then asked her why she smiled at him, and she jokingly said it's because I was not looking at her.

To others, this may pass off as something of no value at all. To me though, it was a wake-up call, a pat on the back to help me keep in mind that for disabled people like me, love can never be a long-lasting experience. That one incident alone is a clear indication that I could easily lose my wife anytime if ever a 'normal' and good -looking man should come in to her life.

In all the years that we have been together, I have known her to be extra friendly, even to men. That is why many of them are drawn to her. We have a small sari-sari store, and  I often notice that whenever the customer is a guy, my wife would make the first move to be of service even if I'm the one tending the store.

Many of our customers also happen to be men as there is a car wash outlet located in front of our store. Practically all of its male employees know my wife by name and often look for her whenever they come to us to buy something.

This has somehow put a dent on our marriage since I usually end up getting jealous. My wife continues to assure me of her love, but her many actions often contradict this. Secretly, I feel that it is only a matter of time before she falls for someone else.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the day will never come, if only for my children's sake. Still, when I recall my old friend's declaration and my mother's belief, I can only bow in agreement.

Whoever said that fairy tales do come true is probably living in dream land. And whoever said that all is fair in love is probably one who has never shed a tear for a badly broken heart.

From where I stand right now, love stories are only for 'normal' people.

Apprehension Grips My Heart

I was sick for two days. This is the second time that I got ill in a span of less than three months. This does not usually happen to me, but given the possibility that I could be showing the early symptoms of post-polio syndrome, I'm not really surprised.

During my childhood years, I remember being very sickly, especially the period after I have recovered from my bout with polio. When I entered my school-year age, I recall getting sick often which mean being absent from my classes for weeks at a time.

That eventually changed when I reached high school. Maybe it had to do with the physical changes that teenagers are known to experience during this time. Or perhaps my body was finally able to develop a fully functional immune system.

Either way, the years that followed proved to be healthy ones for me. I seldom got sick, and even if I did, it lasted only for two days at most. And I was not even taking in any vitamin supplements; just a healthy diet, regular exercise and a good night's sleep.

This set-up went well until last March when I was diagnosed with pneumonia. I struggled through the illness for almost a week before I got fully recovered.

Last May, I got sick again, and although it was comparatively milder, the illness was a surprise as it came in the midst of summer, and only two months after my last sickness.

This was when I learned about post polio syndrome. Considering my age and the period when the initial polio attack took place, I suspect that my last two illnesses are early symptoms that I am suffering from this condition. Of course, I still need to confirm this with a medical doctor.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that my suspicion is unfounded. Still,  apprehension grips my heart like a vise. Just like many polio survivors who are now suffering from post polio syndrome, my fear is that after years of believing that I have recovered from the effects of the disease, polio has returned for a second round of battle, and this time, it seeks to ensure that it will come out the victor.